Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
