His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I love you.
Bad choice
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