a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
