I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
