someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
