I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
