So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
