Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Enjoy the penises
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
