I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
