I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
