Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We're too hungover to prance.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
