I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
