I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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