My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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