i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
When are your genitals available?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize