I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
