that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
