Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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