week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
