Hey man sorry I got all grabby
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
