wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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