I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
