There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
