if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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