"it" just moved
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
