I wish they made helmets for livers.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This is classic penis vs brain.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
