just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
