I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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