ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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