Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
