So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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