There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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