if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
