It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
