So drunk its hurt
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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