***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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