end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize