Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize