all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
