I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
