11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
