Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
