So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
