Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
