So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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