You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
