can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
