fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
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