If i come over, it means nothing
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
