i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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