We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
