Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize