He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
