my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
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