I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
