yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
