Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
