i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
