Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
