fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize