Dude my mom stole all your condoms
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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