one two three fourrrrnication!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
