dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
