If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Life is so much better after having sex.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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