We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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